I had conversations with my ex on there so on the one hand, it is good I can’t return any more to torture myself with reminders of what a piece of shit I am, but on the other hand my psyche irrationally feels despair because it cannot return to torture myself with reminders of what a piece of shit I am
Thanks for the offer, but for the proper effect you’d have to fall in love with me for a few years, then break up with me, with me getting weirdly clingy and longing in the following “trying to be friends” phase, with me slowly realizing what a bad influence I had been in your life and crashing into the realization that it was pure hubris of me to think I could be deserving of love and in a healthy relationship to begin with. That sort of messed-upness doesn’t come that easy.
I had conversations with my ex on there so on the one hand, it is good I can’t return any more to torture myself with reminders of what a piece of shit I am, but on the other hand my psyche irrationally feels despair because it cannot return to torture myself with reminders of what a piece of shit I am
Would it help you if I called you a piece of shit from time to time?
Thanks for the offer, but for the proper effect you’d have to fall in love with me for a few years, then break up with me, with me getting weirdly clingy and longing in the following “trying to be friends” phase, with me slowly realizing what a bad influence I had been in your life and crashing into the realization that it was pure hubris of me to think I could be deserving of love and in a healthy relationship to begin with. That sort of messed-upness doesn’t come that easy.
You lost a remnant of someone you cared about, so it makes sense even though it was bad for you in the long run