If you haven’t heard this cliche while discussing your neurodivergency with someone, then I envy your luck. Yesterday I fucked up, I feel shitty, but also I am pissed.
Our brains are impulsive af and tend to forget the most important information. We mess up, our RSD (and empathy) kicks in, we feel terrible, we vow to be more careful, but guess what? Thats fucking exhausting.
As a result, we start overthinking our every waking moment, stressing over every little thing. Because, we are trying to be aware of the things we cannot perceive.
At some point, hopefully we realize that we cannot live like that, and we start to arbitrarily ignore our compulsion to overthink. Most often that works out great because most often the threat is not real, but sometimes we make the wrong call.
The times we overthink are still more than the times we do not, and we still mess up. Let us have our fucking peace.
Sometimes this is what it requires. There are good people out there, I hope you make contact with more of those instead :)
thanks. it was the first time i did that, ever. i saw that there is a power and freedom in thast decision. i said no multiple times, that was not accepted, and i walked away to show that i am not that kind of guy. it was hurtfull to learn that i was never taken serious in a “friend friend” capacity. it is true. for them, i am just a wierd sometimes obnoxious guy that talks a lot of crazy shit. i decided that i dont need to change their perception they have about me. i also realized that it is utterly pointless to discuss it with my former friend; he thinks he is morally right to abuse our friendship, he has always had very thought out buisness arguments when it came to take advantage of sourrounding people.
like, “if they dont know i overcharge them, its ok for me and them.”
keep in mind that we are talking about friends and favours.
well *uck it.
i can live without them.