Gentlethem
Feels.
Also: Under-stimulated -> anxiety -> Have To Do Something, Anxiety Driving Me Nuts-> DO ALL THE THINGS -> stress!! -> stimulation burst because of stress -> overwork -> over-stimulated -> burnout -> depression -> under-stimulated
The neurospice flows strong in this one
You can definitely split the Elvanse capsule for a smaller dose, it’s safe and doesn’t affect the drug itself. Where I live Elvanse is so expensive it would make sense to try and get as high dose as possible and just split it to smaller doses to save money. The price is like 95-135€ for 30 capsules… Also a good-to-know that doctors don’t tell but should: 2 grams of vitamin C should get rid of most of the drug in your system in about an hour or so, take with plenty of water and prepare to piss a lot. For example if you have problems falling asleep or feel like it’s lasting too long you could try if vitamin C helps. Also if you accidentally take too much. I wonder why the doctors don’t often mention about this because taking vit-C supplements will lessen the effect of Elvanse.
And like the others said, it will take a while to get used to the drug. There’s also the “wow-factor” in the beginning that might make the effect of the drug feel stronger. But it’s a good idea to start with a smaller dose first. No need to force yourself and feel uncomfortable with too big a dose.
Well I did self-medicate a bit while waiting for the actual diagnosis and I think that would be valuable information for the doctor as well, only if I could tell about it honestly. The meds can be used to validate the diagnosis after all. But it also gave me insight on what works and what doesn’t and how. Where I live one has to try 2 different meds (usually both are methylphenidate) before lisdexamphetamine and for me at least the mf’s cause quite awful side-effects (like dissociation) which elvanse doesn’t so at least now I know not to force myself to the bad ones and go through the process to get to the ones that actually do the trick.
Substance abuse is pretty common among ADHD people but you can’t get the diagnosis if you admit that or get caught in the screening (drug tests are also required here for the meds). Probably many drug users too have ADHD but they never got proper diagnosis and treatment and never will.
Oh boi this is so relatable. It seems that I’ve been running on anxiety my whole life.
For me it seems to help that I find validation and reasons for those feelings (eg from videos explaining why ADHD or CPTSD causes such behaviors and thought patterns) and through that understanding internalize that there is always a reason for everything and no, the reason is not that I’m a shitty person.
Allowing myself to stim helps, I didn’t even realize how much I’ve been blocking it.
I think the most noticeable help from the meds is in social situations, but also the fact that I can always “play the AuDHD card” helps - given that the people are safe enough to reveal this diagnosis.
I process thoughts and feelings by doing physical things so evening walks are super important to clear some of the chaos inside my head.
My SO is also on the spectrum but in a way opposite of me that they don’t really have strict rules and schedules to keep their life together like I do, so we learn from each other: I try to give more space to things that cause me anxiety and over all loosen my grip, and they try to create more structure in their life.
Also conscious choices on what to ruminate and what not is sometimes helpful: do I REALLY need to think about this right now?
If I’m full of chaos or anxiety when I go to bed I have a conversation in my head with an imaginary friend that will validate my feelings and experiences and tell me what I need to hear. It gives a different perspective which can be helpful.
So many things yet to understand and the re-learning is just in the beginning, but even so it feels like a big change already! The years of neglecting myself have taken their toll for sure but I hope there’s still hope left.