I prefer end to end encryption, like in Matrix, Signal, SimpleX, etc. So I don’t use Lemmy for PMs since they are not actually private, hell I went quite a while where I stopped using Lemmy because it is not meant for someone interested in their own privacy despite the irony of having multiple privacy focused communities. If someone doesn’t want to host instances dedicated to CSAM I could see them wanting to defederate, but so far I’ve seen defederation used as a temper tantrum. It’s always over some stupid drama. If you don’t want to host whatever then what is the point of opening your instance to other people? I fail to see why someone would bother going through this trouble and then say no you can’t view this community meant for modifying your nintendo switch. Even reddit does not care as much as the instance owners on Lemmy do. It’s just baffling. Also good luck deleting your posts and comments. Ugh this convo makes me hate Lemmy again.

I also would rather manage what I block or federate to. I hate that Lemmy enables instances to have too much control over its users, deciding what you can and cannot see and admins can see your PMs too. I got fed up with Lemmy.world because of their federation fuckups, why would communities that talk about piracy but don’t link to anything cause an admin to get sued? They won’t, reddit allows more piracy talk than Lemmy.world does lmao. Obviously Nintendo searches through the fediverse for anyone even saying they pirated stuff, right guys?! Nah I just don’t care for their admins. I usually dont agree with whatever their admins say, I even saw someone from world complain about Lemmy.world policies on their thread and the user got their account deleted by an admin with a nice smug response from them. I can’t have my own instance since I don’t have the money to spare, otherwise I would since it is BS that Lemmy doesn’t allow users to have the same control over their feed as an admin.

Thank you for posting that link. I’m not fed up (completely?) yet I suppose but it was eye-opening. I’ll have to be a lot more careful about posting, possibly not post again.

This is definitely a con of Lemmy for me. I like to be more privacy focused but Lemmy gives you 0 privacy on whatever you do on the website. Anyone who wants more privacy on Lemmy is told you have no right to privacy, don’t expect any privacy, everything you do is public on the internet, etc. A massive boner killer for me. I think basic things like deleting your own post or comments should actually get removed from all servers, PMs should not be viewable by anyone except the recipients, and what you vote on or subscribe to should be private. Lemmy doesn’t sell your data but that’s because anyone can take the data for free. I thought this stuff was because Lemmy is still new and will get to it eventually but the push back seems to say this was a choice or is not broken. I ended up exploring different social media alternatives but I like the style of Lemmy better since it is more reddit-like with an active user base plus has different android clients. I don’t like kbin because it shows who upvoted or downvoted something to everyone - it’s not accountability when it erodes your privacy.

I used to comment on Lemmy more but then I ran into this problem when juggling multiple accounts, Liftoff sucks ass at letting you know which account you are logged into (I use Summit now and it is better at it) so I ended up getting my accounts’ wires crossed when I thought using the drop down on your accounts changed your account but no you have to go to manage instances to switch which was not intuitive. I ended up abandoning the accounts when I couldn’t figure out how to actually delete the post from the server.

Edit: man I wish I saw this sooner, might be time for me to either stop posting again or look somewhere else.

I have to agree. I considered Standard Notes but I would have to pay for super notes in order to use images, even if I self-host. Same for code blocks, organizing notes into folders, spreadsheets, web clipper. Have to get the most expensive plan for offline access and being able to have local backups, although it is discounted if you self-host completely but why still pay a sub at that point? I would rather pay once and then be able to self-host using their super notes without paying more every month.

I liked Obsidian but wanted encryption that works on my android so I went with Joplin.