teleporters will have keys like vehicles and buildings, to prevent unauthorized access.

I like rsnapshot, run from a cron job at various useful intervals. backups are hardlinked and rotated so that eventually the disk usage reaches a very slowly growing steady state.

it’s possible to run windows in a VM on Linux (Microsoft even provides one intended for developers)

is it counting android as linux?

if so, it shouldn’t be, imo. android is deployed and used differently than Linux and is not really the same in spirit. if you can’t have root, I’d not count it as Linux for the purposes of something like this.

Funtoo is a bit of both. It’s not as current as Gentoo but the tradeoff is not having to rebuild the toolchain every few weeks.

ultimately, you will need some kind of access to something with at least one port open, if you intend to host services on the clearnet. you could use tor if onion services will work for you. if you have ssh access somewhere with a port open (or a friendly sysadmin), you could tunnel to there and redirect incoming connections back through the tunnel. same thing with a VPN, if the sysadmin is really friendly.