Honestly in a use case like family photos, redoing it every x amount of time is probably a good idea anyway so new ones can be added.

Not as far as “dumb” per se but I would accept “less smart” in exchange for physical buttons and a removable battery.

There was Big Bob’s Beepers on Hey Arnold.

Muskodon

Yeah, it’s just a blatant lie that a phone with a removable battery can’t be waterproof without being massive. I had a galaxy s5 active years ago that was, and the difference in thickness between that and the standard one was negligible.