Stop it!

Okay, now do it some more…

I don’t get why people think this could possibly happen. No matter how much of an asshole, who in your neighborhood can afford so much mindflayer tadpoles altered with ancient netherese magic and weaponized by a villainous well-dressed triad for world domination that they can just shove them into Reeses all willy-nilly and hand them out to random kids. If you’re going through the trouble of illegally acquiring some mindflayer tadpoles altered with ancient netherese magic and weaponized by a villainous well-dressed triad for world domination, you’re not gonna shove them into candy on a lark. You’re gonna fucking use that shit.

Do it. I fucking dare you. It’ll be fun to watch a media powerhouse and a douche meth lab burn each other down.

What’s that in freedom units?

“What was Windows even doing for us?”

Providing minimal malware protection while being actual malware?

Check it out, I’m a masshole! *toot*

These used to be all over my grandparents’ backyard when my mom was a kid; about a week ago, I saw the first I’ve seen in a few years. Ant pest control in this neighborhood has gotten significantly more effective over the past 10 years or so that fact about them eating ants is incredibly revealing to me.

Pluck it out!

Oh. Well, if we’re gonna use facts in this argument…

Bring back the Nova and sell a bundle of some steel wool, rubber bands, and used 9v batteries. Package it all in a cookies tin.

Sell it as a direct competitor to the CyberTruck with all the same features and promises including towing a 911 faster than a 911.

I removed Recall just fine and now my Windows environment is Linux

I asked Google why search engines are so bad now and its AI summaries its own deficiencies quite well:

Some say search engines have declined in quality due to a number of factors, including:

Search engine optimization (SEO) spam A wave of SEO spam has contributed to the decline in search result quality.

Affiliate marketing Affiliate link sites contribute to the low-quality content that floods the internet.

AI-generated content New technology can quickly produce low-quality content.

Marketing Search results are filled with marketing and links that may not be relevant to the query.

Recommender algorithms Some say the algorithm that recommends content is a mess. For example, someone might be recommended alt-right content after watching a click-bait video.

Ads Google’s biggest business is advertising, and it’s inserting more ads into its products to make more money.

Some say it’s harder to find specific information these days, and that search operators are often needed to filter search results.

I wouldn’t trust Musk for anything!

Not for a million dollars, not for a Brazilian dollars, not even for a trillion dollars!

I’m Soviet Russia, don’t fix broke you!

Giuliani is still confused why Trump likes looking into the shiny blank glass. Also why garlic makes him bleed

Have you ever met a toddler? Try doing peekaboo 4 times with a 3-year-old and then tell them you’re bored. Unless you’re willing to deal with screams for 16 hours, you’re only about 996 peekaboos away from a satisfied toddler.

Locking an iphone for only 10 years sounds like a toddler with a short attention span.

Fucking good for that. That conversation sucks and I’m proud of you for doing it!

How do they even afford to eat???

I haven’t seen Stephen Miller have a meltdown like that since his hairline liquefied and ran down his face

Edit: I guess only Ghouliani’s hair ran down his face. Miller just dusted his head with Norelco trimmings

And when you do die, you won’t see it coming!